“Grab my hand
My friend, my lover
Let’s make these times
– M. M.”
Today you took my hand and guided me into your maze. This is your most sacred place, which guards over secrets you don’t want to share with anyone. It is not a closed place. It is not locked nor does it have a fence. No one is guarding over it. There’s no need to. All that went in before me, only came to find cold empty walls. I think you saw something in me, this might be the reason for guiding me in yourself. You never did this with anyone before.
It’s not the first time I go inside your labyrinth. I ventured in time after time, ever hungry, ever thirsty for a glimpse of you. I used to go in almost every night after you fell asleep. I haunted each corridor like a restless insomniac. Some mornings you would find me there, lost, sleeping in a corner.
Sometimes I found small rooms filled with tiny marbles. Each marble is a piece of your soul, you told me. Other times I found huge underground chambers, which were dark, cold and wet. Little icy drops were falling from the ceiling. You told me that this is the part of you that always cries.
This time is special. This time is different, I can feel it. You felt it before me. I give into you and walk into your footsteps, gently holding on to your hand which is in turn gently holding on to mine. I stop at the entrance and take of my clothes as a symbol of going in empty and pure. We walk and walk. We keep walking, we go deep. We reach a place where there is no more light, pitch black. You took out a marble from your pocket and the marble started to glow into the dark, almost like a candle. We continue walking until we reach a pit. You tightly grabbed my hand and warned me not to go close as I might get sucked inside. You told me that this is where you keep all the sorrow that I have caused you. My heart starts pounding, my hands are shaking, my mouth goes dry and I immediately start to cry. With every tear I felt a fraction of your pain. Little spears piercing my heart with every heartbeat I took. The more I cried the bigger the pit grew. I wanted to jump inside so I get consumed by my sins but you grabbed my hand harder and took me out. I fell to my knees and asked for forgiveness. You pulled me up and hugged me into your soul.
I am so ashamed that it hurts to look into your eyes. You wipe out my tears and kiss my forehead. “Let’s go, I’m going to show you something else. We suffered enough.”, you said. I smiled and follow you grabing even harder on your hand. After a while we reach a big empty room. To me it all looks like a dead end and for a moment there I think we are lost. “We are not lost silly. It’s my maze, remember? … Come there’s a secret room.” You whisper something which I did not understand and tell me to close my eyes for a second. “Now open them! Voila!”
I open my eyes and the last thing I remember is bright lights and a warm feeling in my chest. I find myself in your bed, wrapped inside your arms.
“What happened?” I asked with a confused look on my face.
“You fainted. You got so overwhelmed that you fainted once you opened your eyes. I think it was a bit too much for you. I know you are curious to discover me, my love. But we both need time. You need it as much as I do.”
Time is all we have, let’s make these moments last forever.