I reached a crucial moment in my life, a point of no return. With every step I have taken and each choice I have made, I came closer to where I am now. In the middle of nowhere, completely lost, I wonder the desert of my soul while running in circles in the maze o my mind. Only three possible outcomes may this journey have. Evolve, lose my mind or die. My own, perfectly designed, natural selection.

It’s 7:30 am and my alarm clock starts, I have to wake up. I don’t feel like showing up today, so I snooze it. I snooze it and skip my morning routine to again snooze it a few more times. I finally decide to go out of bed. It takes me a while but in the end I’m on my feet. On the floor, I see a rainbow coloured string.

Curious, I pick it up and follow it. Even more strange is that it crosses the entire room up until the door. I open the door and see that the rainbow coloured string continued. At this point I am really intrigued and make it my mission to get to the end of it.

I start collecting the string by rolling it in my left hand. Going down the stairs, I continue my journey. I finally reach ground floor and notice that the string comes from the basement. It continued down the stairs until the last room which was dark. Probably the light bulb had burned out, turning the light switch on did not work. I turn on the flashlight of my phone and make my way into the dark room. The string takes me yet to another door which I did not know was there. Opening the door, I discover a long  and wide hallway. It was lit by torches on each side. It was so long that you couldn’t even see the other end.

I continue to indulge in this bizarre trip of mine and keep on following the rainbow coloured string. I lose notion of time and space but continue my journey. The string I was collecting in my left hand got so big that I started rolling it on the ground, like a football. At some point, I don’t know if it took a long time or just a few seconds, I reach the end of the hallway. I find myself in front of a huge door. Once I get closer to it, the door starts opening by itself. Inside, there was an immense room, with pillars shaped like men bearing the weight of the ceiling. The room was filled with strings of all colours, shapes and sizes. Everything is tangled together in a massive… mess.

Am I supposed to untangle them all? I might go crazy before I get to the end of it. I might die before I get to the end of it…

Should I just forget all about it? Just go and close the door behind me. Why not?

Why can’t I let go? Why do I have to choose?

…

It’s 7:30 am and my alarm clock starts, I have to wake up. I don’t feel like showing up today, so I snooze it. I snooze it and skip my morning routine to again snooze it a few more times. I finally decide to go out of bed. It takes me a while but in the end I’m on my feet.

Where’s the string… ? There’s no string on the floor, but I know realise what my dream meant. The sting is a symbol for choice. I chose to follow inwards, to my core. There I found the collection of all the choices that I have ever made.

The man shaped pillars holding the ceiling on their shoulders are a symbol for the burden of my choices. Each pillar represents a mask I wore at some point in my life. Each mask wearer now carries the burden of his choices.

“ Every path is the right path. Everything could’ve been anything else. And it would have just as much meaning.

(…)

Choices … We cannot go back. That’s why it’s hard to choose. You have to make the right choice. As long as you don’t choose, everything remains possible.”

– Mr. Nobody

P.S.: But isn’t not choosing also a choice? …. Ahhh fuck it, I’m going to lose my mind over this.